Kick-Ass

Kick-Ass does not kick ass. It fucking demolishes it. I haven't had this much fun at the movies since Iron Man. Based on the Mark Millar comic of the same name, it gets better treatment than the other Mark Millar original Wanted. Don't get me wrong, I enjoyed Wanted, but Kick-Ass makes Wanted look like Sense and Sensibility. Its vulgar, its violent, its hilarious, and it makes no apologies.

It is certainly a deconstruction of the super hero film, and formula. Kick-Ass, aka Dave Lizewski is not Peter Parker, or Bruce Wayne. He's just a comic book geek who didn't have any other calling in life. So, fuck, why not try and be a superhero? What did he have to lose? Well, he nearly lost a lot of teeth at first. In fact, Kick-Ass is probably the least effective, and least skilled titular superhero I've ever seen committed to celluloid. But, when he has to, he can kick ass.

Now, the world we're introduced to, is essentially the real world. Kick-Ass is really the first "real" superhero. That is, he's the first popular one. After Dave dons the green wet suit, the film progresses more and more, into that just left of reality place, where somebody can be a real superhero. The real superheroes for most of the movie, are Hit-Girl and Big Daddy. A father/daughter team that take killing and vigilante justice as casually as soft ball practice. Even at his sternest, Big Daddy, played by Nicholas Cage in a return to form, doesn't even raise his voice. There's an odd sweetness to the pair and their grisly father daughter activities.

There are differences from the comic, but I won't even mention them, because, they would be spoilers. I enjoyed the movie too much to really go on too much more, and I want the casual comic fan that might not have read Millar's book, and even people who just like stuff that's sublimely awesome, to just go in carte blanch and enjoy themselves. So, get your ass to the multi-plex and watch a 12 year old girl, a 17 year old dork, and a murderous, yet doting father KICK ASS.

iRate it: A+

Clash of the Titans

First off, I'll say this, I did not see the film in 3D, as I heard that it looked awful, also, the film was never meant to be 3D in the first place. So, I saw it in glorious 2D, and it actually looked, pretty damn cool. The set designs, creature designs, and so forth, were pretty cool. Though, the witches looked like they were borrowed off the set of Pan's Labyrinth. I'll also give Louis and crew credit for the action and pacing being full speed ahead. This is not the same movie I fell asleep in during in middle school (and another time in high school).

The hero's motivations are completely different this time around. Perseus isn't the wavy haired, smiling demi-god, wannabe full god. This time he's an angry Australian with a buzz cut. Now, to part with many, I don't mind that change in dynamic all that much. In Greek mythology, the gods are total dicks, and people getting tired of their shit only makes sense. The problem is, the ham-handed way it all goes down, and is explained to you. The script talks to you like your the 8 year old you were when you saw the first movie. I won't get into much more detail to avoid spoiler territory.

Overall, the movie's biggest strength is its biggest weakness. Its pace keeps you entertained enough to not get nearly as glazed over in the eyes as you would during the original. However, it has to go so fast to fit in that 90 minute target, that histories and dynamics are established so fast you hardly care. Additionally, the non-demi supernaturally enabled characters are kind of whiny, pissants, except for the princess Andromeda who's stupid hot and has liberal guilty conscience. So in the end, your like: "Who the fuck cares about these people in Argos? They piss off the gods on purpose, then act all surprised when they send a giant crotch tick to come wipe their asses of the map! Fuck 'em."

So to summarize before I ramble on too long. The good? It's fast, the action's ballsy, and you at least have fun with the visual spectacle. The bad? Its so fast, all character development is explained to you as it happens, and there's a couple of stupid changes from the original that were ultimately a mistake. I won't say Sam Worthington ruined the movie, since, all I know, he could have actually rescued it from being total total crap. Because what we've got is, an ok movie with crappy parts.

iRate it: C+

Star Trek

I feel like the first sentence of this review should be in all caps. Maybe something along the lines of “HOLYSHITTHATMOVIEWASSOMUCHFUNINEEDTOSEEITAGAINRIGHTNOW!” The writers Roberto Orci, Alex Kurtzman, and director JJ Abrams wasted no time establishing how action packed the film would be. The film opens with a space battle involving a monstrous mutated space mining ship and the USS Kelvin. Basically, in the first ten to fifteen minutes, everything you expect from Star Trek has been thrown out the window. That is, if your a hardcore fan, your precious rules of 'canon' have been thrown out the fucking escape hatch into a god damn black hole.

Gene Roddenberry's Trek is back, but, not. Where the old Trek tended to be a bit dry, and even stilted at times, JJ's Trek is much more the full throttle popcorn film. Its not particularly high minded, which is something the series is to be credited with in the past. Rather, this film is essentially a 'pilot' to sell a new generation on the new voyages of the Starship Enterprise. The origins for every character have been reworked and motivations established anew. The creative team was clever in their decision get around the rules of canon following and the hindrance it would be in establishing a new series by literally dropping in a giant, giant, god damn space ship and blowing the fuck out of all the rules straight away.

What we get from this newfound freedom is an opportunity to see a very rebellious and ballsy young James Tiberius Kirk take the Federation by the ovaries and confidently say 'You know you want it. Take it.' Sure he has to slap it around a little first, but it eventually gives in. The audience is placed in a very similar situation. This new crew/cast is dropped in your lap and your left with the choice to either love it or retire to your conventions as the lonely curmudgeon complaining about the film's lack of reverence for the original show. While the film isn't perfect by any means, there's so little wrong with it, my complaints are hardly worth voicing. But I will anyway, since this is a bloody review.

I'll get the flaws out of the way first. It might have been fun to see a little more crew interaction, or maybe some more insights into what StarFleet academy was like. Also I would like to have gotten a little more of the action in clear view, on a wider scale on screen. A good deal of the action is viewed from very close, moving, chaotic angles. Its used to great effect, but some more, big establishing shots would have helped simply by pleasing the eye. But that is something the original films and series. (Is there a multiple form for series? Serieses?Seriess?) tended to abuse, forcing us to just watch models float through space gracefully, even in battle sequences. Also, Rachel Nichols is far too hot to be covering in green paint, but one can't complain too much about getting her into her skivvies. The green stains on the sheets are something I could accept.

What did I like? First and foremost, the cast. You've gotta hand it to Mr. Abrams and company for their impeccable job casting this new crew. They didn't take it on aesthetically, rather, they just went and found themselves the best young actors on the scene, gave 'em some DVDs and said “Action!” a few weeks later. Pine and Quinto have you sold from beginning to end that they are their characters. In roles unfortunately small for the film are Simon Pegg and Karl Urban. Both of whom steal every scene they're in. Cho, Saldana, Greenwood, Bana and Yelchin all should not escape without commendations. The effects are top notch and the films written and directed at a breakneck pace. What felt like a racing 44 minute episode of the best funded TV show ever, turned out to be a 126 minute action packed blockbuster that is too damn fun for its own good.

Like Iron Man who preceded this film in an almost identical summer slot, this is the film that will kick the summer movie season's doors open in a big way. This is the movie that will be in the back of your mind until it comes out on DVD and you wear out the poor disc. I can honestly say I will have to actively try not to go see this movie again for at least a week, so it'll feel a little fresher when I inevitably schlep myself out to Providence for the IMAX experience.

iRate it: A-