Predators

Hey, remember those two Alien Vs. Predator movies? Yeah they sucked, didn’t they? Well, Predators is not those movies. The brain-child of Robert Rodriquez (Sin City, the Mariachi Trilogy) the film is intended to not exactly reboot the franchise, but give it a shot in the arm. The Aliens from Alien? Gone. This is much more the spiritual successor to Predator, the film we all know and love.

Like the original, this is not a high-brow affair. Our premise is simple, and the movie doesn’t waste any time, and literally just drops you into their world. The collection of Earthly killers they’ve assembled are confused enough to start trying to kill each other before they even realize they aren’t even on the right fucking planet anymore. The rest of the movie, they carefully tread the line between keeping the Predator’s exact motives (Other than killing you because its fucking awesome.) and means in the dark, and revealing the most you ever really get to see into their world.

While a carefully designed premise and staged plot, its not exactly Citizen fucking Kane. Rather, its a really well funded fan film of sorts. Fox handed the keys to Troublemaker studios and they got their rocks off as best they could with the budget they had. Its not the huge affair you might have been teased into thinking. Rather, its a tighter movie that relies more on tension than BLAM BLAM CGI!! EXPLOSIONS!!!TITS!!! GUNS!!!

*Ahem*

Though, we still do get a fair bit of fun gore, violence, and the general awesome stuff we want to see in a Predator movie. I’m among the group that didn’t like Predator 2, and to me, this is a superior sequel. Even though its a fairly unsophisticated affair, you do at least walk out the theater, talking about why the Predators did certain things, and pondering the larger workings of the Predator society. We’re given a little bit more to chew on, and we still see the Predator as the primal badass he was all those years ago. Kudos to Rodriquez and Antal.

iRate it: B+

Iron Man 2

So here we are. One summer to rest up and get ready for more, Iron Man 2 has dropped. Not a moment too soon and it only saddens me to know we have to wait for Part 3, but luckily, we've got Thor, Captain America, and Avengers to tide us over until then. What I speak of is the Marvel Movie-Verse. Its what they hinted at in Iron Man and The Incredible Hulk. With Iron Man 2 we see that world expanding. And its so fucking cool.

Now, people immediately ask me if this is better than the first film. I will say that it is a great follow up, and doesn't hit any 'sequel' snags too hard, and is for the most part, everything we wanted it to be. Its a heavy task, and Jon Favreau's burly arms were apparently up to the task. Like atlas himself, he hoisted this baby up and with the help of a fantastic cast, we got to be treated to yet another one of the best super-hero films put to celluloid. Iron Man 1 helped kick open the doors for Marvel, Iron Man 2 pinned you to the floor and showed you how well endowed the marvel universe is. DC, balls in your court.

I'll get the hangups out of the way. Iron Man was great, but flawed, in ways I can see now after letting my geeky titillation simmer. Iron Man 2 is as well, flawed, but hell, even The Dark Knight had big 'ol plot holes. However this time around it isn't really hurt by a weak third act, as much is it is by a saggy midsection. The film takes a darker turn as the weight of being Iron Man and his world buckling in around him. The house of Stark is (and quite literally) nearly brought down by the ramifications of Ivan Vanko's attack at the racetrack. Also, just to nitpick. A few digital shots of the armor look half finished and real obvious. But, they didn't really have nearly as much post time for effects as they did on the first chapter, so I'll let it slide.

But, where it sags there, and things start to get a little to grim, Samuel L Jackson comes to save us. No sharks in sight, so he should be safe. Anyway, the third act is the payoff you get for the longish 2nd. We get treated to a finally that has a big meaty helping of action and metal crunching badassery that makes it all worth it. People have criticized a lot of different things about the movie, but nobody can deny that the final fight scenes(yes, plural) are comic book worth stuff. Its great to finally feel the scale start to resemble the stuff we saw on the page.

So I'll get to little things I like but I won't get into too much detail, because its more fun to experience it fresh. Samuel L Jacksons little scenes are really fun for the geek in me. All the SHIELD related scenes are geek porn. Additionally, there isn't really a weak cog in the whole acting mechanism. Robert Downey Jr continues to be a revelation, his chemistry with Paltrow continues to be aces as well. In fact, my favorite pairing in the movie, were the scenes of Justin Hammer(Sam Rockwell) and Ivan Vanko(Mickey Rourke). Sam Rockwell's gotten a lot of praise for standing out among the cast's newcomers and well, everybody's right. He's great. (Can't wait to see him re-team with Favreau for Cowboys and Aliens by the way. )So here we are. One summer to rest up and get ready for more, Iron Man 2 has dropped. Not a moment too soon and it only saddens me to know we have to wait for Part 3, but luckily, we've got Thor, Captain America, and Avengers to tide us over until then. What I speak of is the Marvel Movie-Verse. Its what they hinted at in Iron Man and The Incredible Hulk. With Iron Man 2 we see that world expanding. It makes a geek squeal.

In conclusion: Go see it. If you loved Iron Man, you'll love Iron Man 2. Its not PERFECT and I don't assume everyone will agree with me. (Cue flashbacks to Quantum of Solace arguments) But you have got to give it a shot. The performances are great, the action is spectacular, the direction is spot-on, and the promises of the larger Marvel Movie-verse are titillating as well. Casual viewers, ie non-comic dweebs like me, will be well served to go and read some comics to help you get the larger connected network of films their building up to. I'd recommend reading Mark Millars "Ultimates V1" and "Ultimates v2". Oh, and stay after the credits. Further nerd porn awaits.

iRate it: A

Kick-Ass

Kick-Ass does not kick ass. It fucking demolishes it. I haven't had this much fun at the movies since Iron Man. Based on the Mark Millar comic of the same name, it gets better treatment than the other Mark Millar original Wanted. Don't get me wrong, I enjoyed Wanted, but Kick-Ass makes Wanted look like Sense and Sensibility. Its vulgar, its violent, its hilarious, and it makes no apologies.

It is certainly a deconstruction of the super hero film, and formula. Kick-Ass, aka Dave Lizewski is not Peter Parker, or Bruce Wayne. He's just a comic book geek who didn't have any other calling in life. So, fuck, why not try and be a superhero? What did he have to lose? Well, he nearly lost a lot of teeth at first. In fact, Kick-Ass is probably the least effective, and least skilled titular superhero I've ever seen committed to celluloid. But, when he has to, he can kick ass.

Now, the world we're introduced to, is essentially the real world. Kick-Ass is really the first "real" superhero. That is, he's the first popular one. After Dave dons the green wet suit, the film progresses more and more, into that just left of reality place, where somebody can be a real superhero. The real superheroes for most of the movie, are Hit-Girl and Big Daddy. A father/daughter team that take killing and vigilante justice as casually as soft ball practice. Even at his sternest, Big Daddy, played by Nicholas Cage in a return to form, doesn't even raise his voice. There's an odd sweetness to the pair and their grisly father daughter activities.

There are differences from the comic, but I won't even mention them, because, they would be spoilers. I enjoyed the movie too much to really go on too much more, and I want the casual comic fan that might not have read Millar's book, and even people who just like stuff that's sublimely awesome, to just go in carte blanch and enjoy themselves. So, get your ass to the multi-plex and watch a 12 year old girl, a 17 year old dork, and a murderous, yet doting father KICK ASS.

iRate it: A+

Clash of the Titans

First off, I'll say this, I did not see the film in 3D, as I heard that it looked awful, also, the film was never meant to be 3D in the first place. So, I saw it in glorious 2D, and it actually looked, pretty damn cool. The set designs, creature designs, and so forth, were pretty cool. Though, the witches looked like they were borrowed off the set of Pan's Labyrinth. I'll also give Louis and crew credit for the action and pacing being full speed ahead. This is not the same movie I fell asleep in during in middle school (and another time in high school).

The hero's motivations are completely different this time around. Perseus isn't the wavy haired, smiling demi-god, wannabe full god. This time he's an angry Australian with a buzz cut. Now, to part with many, I don't mind that change in dynamic all that much. In Greek mythology, the gods are total dicks, and people getting tired of their shit only makes sense. The problem is, the ham-handed way it all goes down, and is explained to you. The script talks to you like your the 8 year old you were when you saw the first movie. I won't get into much more detail to avoid spoiler territory.

Overall, the movie's biggest strength is its biggest weakness. Its pace keeps you entertained enough to not get nearly as glazed over in the eyes as you would during the original. However, it has to go so fast to fit in that 90 minute target, that histories and dynamics are established so fast you hardly care. Additionally, the non-demi supernaturally enabled characters are kind of whiny, pissants, except for the princess Andromeda who's stupid hot and has liberal guilty conscience. So in the end, your like: "Who the fuck cares about these people in Argos? They piss off the gods on purpose, then act all surprised when they send a giant crotch tick to come wipe their asses of the map! Fuck 'em."

So to summarize before I ramble on too long. The good? It's fast, the action's ballsy, and you at least have fun with the visual spectacle. The bad? Its so fast, all character development is explained to you as it happens, and there's a couple of stupid changes from the original that were ultimately a mistake. I won't say Sam Worthington ruined the movie, since, all I know, he could have actually rescued it from being total total crap. Because what we've got is, an ok movie with crappy parts.

iRate it: C+

Green Zone

Ok, I'm breaking with my stand-by format of two sentences, because I feel a little to shackled by the confines of it. So, without further adieu, I'll just fucking get to it.

Green Zone is a movie made by people who are pissed off about the Iraq war, for perfectly legitimate reasons. The biggest obstacle for them, to make a film about a true story, is to boil it down into something you can watch in a single sitting. So what they had to do, was make something like "Recent historical fiction". What it does, is create a single face for the dozens of people responsible for selling us a war based on faulty, if not completely fabricated evidence.

Matt Damon does an admirable job working from a complicated position. This isn't Bourne goes to Baghdad, well, at least Damon's character certainly isn't Jason Bourne. He's a no-nonsense, committed, and efficient soldier. He has to move from being a character who's job it is, to find weapons of mass destruction, and believes in the importance of his duty. The problem is, he slowly realizes, he's being sent to find something that just isn't there.

From here, the film has two big axes to grind. The aforementioned fabrication of evidence, secondly, the disbanding of the Iraqi military and police. Two represent the linchpin for both, we have an Iraqi General who factors heavily into both decisions. The disbanding of the Iraqi military is an oft forgotten, and monstrously stupid blunder that is considered one of the biggest contributing factors to the country descending into insurgency, of which, it is only just now recovering from.

So if it isn't obvious from my description or the presence of Greengrass and Damon, this movie is not a film for people who believe ""Removing Saddam Hussein was the right decision early in my presidency, it is the right decision now, and it will be the right decision ever.*" They clearly have an axe to grind, and when they get a little too blunt, excuse the cutlery pun, is where the film suffers.

Overall, I enjoyed the hell out of the movie. Like the previous collaborations between Damon and Greengrass, the film is action packed, and a white knuckle ride. And yes, the shaky cam persists, but not distractingly. Or I'm just desensitized to it. The cast is excellent, full of Oscar nominees and a few little gems like Jason Isaacs from Brotherhood and various bad guy roles. The biggest flaw would be that the rancor, in the writer's obvious outrage shows a little too much in some obvious dialog in the last two acts.

But overall, this movie is suffering a sad fate being overshadowed by some further masturbation of the 3D platform as explored by Tim Burton. I can't convince you fanboys not to go see that movie, but I can say, if you have some old ourtrage left over from 2003, go see Green Zone and just wish that they'd Inglorious Basterds it, and ended the movie with George W. Bush being railroaded out of office.

*Actual quote from George Walker Bush.