Boondock Saints II: All Saints Day

I’ll admit right off the bat; I’m a little bit of a fan-boy for the first movie. It was the little movie that could. Some bartender wrote a script that had him the toast of Hollywood and he was in line to put together a big damn movie for the Weinstein’s Miramax studio. But, unfortunately for him and for the future fans, the rise to fame made him act like such an ass there’s an entire documentary dedicated to his self destruction and the films eventual drop from Miramax and second chance as a straight to video release. But as fate had it, it still caught on. Though it took its sweet damn time.

Duffy grew up a little, got a little more humble, but emboldened by an ever expanding fan-base and after ten years, he finally got the chance to put a sequel before cameras. So here we have it on the day before Halloween and a sequel to one of the biggest cult films ever. The result: A big win for the fans. For people who didn’t like Boondock Saints to begin with? There’s nothing here for you if you weren’t on board for the original profane, violent opus to summary capital punishment. But if you’re like me and can put aside your own liberal leanings or rejection of execution under any circumstance, you can have a lot of fun here.

Like I said, I enjoyed the hell out of the BDS 1 back in the day. And while over time I can recognize many of its flaws in technical terms, weird editing and lame photography when it came to action sequences, I hoped they’d all be gone here. And for the most part they are. The violence wasn’t neutered by the MPAA and the camera doesn’t cut away every damn time somebody got shot. The general look is a lot cleaner and more, well, cinematic. With one notable exception, the way Troy shoots action kind of annoyed me. He still just shoots action sequences the same way. Saints shooting their guns impervious to enemy fire, the enemy stands and gets hit by bullets. Almost never do you actually see them in the same frame as the people they’re killing. As a film dweeb, it seems like they could have filmed the saints and the villains on totally different days.

But despite those gripes, I still had a damn good time with the movie. Troy’s distinct, and tremendously politically incorrect writing style is back in spades. Complete with a 2 minute uber-manly diatribe by David Della Rocco. I can’t wait to hear what the ‘fuck count’ was, personally. The characters, even brothers, families and best friends are constantly berating each other and calling each other morons. And it is probably the truest to life part of the movie. There’s nobody I harass or insult more than the people I love.

I was afraid the character of Eunice Bloom was just going to be a female replacement for Willem Dafoe. She still pretty much filled that role but managed to put enough of her own flair into the performance that you like her character and you don’t really care. It helps that it’s fun to see Julie Benz play against type. Not just playing some doey eyed crying victim like she usually is in movies. In Boondocks 1 we got a badass, occasionally cross dressing gay FBI agent, this time we got a sassy and tough southern agent that has a talent for dressing down her male counterparts. I’d say it’s a fair trade.

In addition, essentially filling Rocco’s role from the prior film, we have Clifton Collins as a pretty broad and silly Mexican-American street hustler that decides to join up with the brothers MacManus in their bloody quest for holy justice. His character is like I said, a little broad, but still fun to contrast against the brothers. Romeo is himself a bit of a fan-boy for the Saints and embarrasses himself repeatedly with his enthusiastic attempts to become a real member of the team. But, in all honesty, the dynamic of the two brothers simply wouldn’t work for two hours without that sidekick to help keep things light.

Surprisingly, for the premise, All Saints day ran about thirty percent longer than you’d think it would. The simple premise you’re given at the beginning of the film isn’t the only wheel that’s spinning the plot. Not to say you won’t figure out what’s really going on before they make it obvious, but you get some pretty damn cool insight into how Billy Connolly’s character became ‘Il Duche’. The flashback sequences are part of a subplot that doesn’t end up being as cool as you’d hope, but it speaks to how ambitious Troy was for upping the ante with his sophomore effort.

Overall, I think it’s worth the price of admission, maybe even if you weren’t a big fan of the first movie. It is far from perfect and doesn’t quite have the same energy the first flick had. All Saints Day is a worthy follow up for the fans and at least shows the first film wasn’t a total fluke. There’s a lot of stuff I didn’t get to touch on, in terms of flaws and strengths, but I’d rather be concise than long winded. ‘Cos you already got the point: If you liked Boondock Saints, I highly recommend strapping on your nine millimeter and heading down to the nearest Cineplex carrying Boondock Saints II: All Saints Day. If it’s not playing in your area, go to the website and demand that it be brought to your area.

iRATE it: B+

Star Trek

I feel like the first sentence of this review should be in all caps. Maybe something along the lines of “HOLYSHITTHATMOVIEWASSOMUCHFUNINEEDTOSEEITAGAINRIGHTNOW!” The writers Roberto Orci, Alex Kurtzman, and director JJ Abrams wasted no time establishing how action packed the film would be. The film opens with a space battle involving a monstrous mutated space mining ship and the USS Kelvin. Basically, in the first ten to fifteen minutes, everything you expect from Star Trek has been thrown out the window. That is, if your a hardcore fan, your precious rules of 'canon' have been thrown out the fucking escape hatch into a god damn black hole.

Gene Roddenberry's Trek is back, but, not. Where the old Trek tended to be a bit dry, and even stilted at times, JJ's Trek is much more the full throttle popcorn film. Its not particularly high minded, which is something the series is to be credited with in the past. Rather, this film is essentially a 'pilot' to sell a new generation on the new voyages of the Starship Enterprise. The origins for every character have been reworked and motivations established anew. The creative team was clever in their decision get around the rules of canon following and the hindrance it would be in establishing a new series by literally dropping in a giant, giant, god damn space ship and blowing the fuck out of all the rules straight away.

What we get from this newfound freedom is an opportunity to see a very rebellious and ballsy young James Tiberius Kirk take the Federation by the ovaries and confidently say 'You know you want it. Take it.' Sure he has to slap it around a little first, but it eventually gives in. The audience is placed in a very similar situation. This new crew/cast is dropped in your lap and your left with the choice to either love it or retire to your conventions as the lonely curmudgeon complaining about the film's lack of reverence for the original show. While the film isn't perfect by any means, there's so little wrong with it, my complaints are hardly worth voicing. But I will anyway, since this is a bloody review.

I'll get the flaws out of the way first. It might have been fun to see a little more crew interaction, or maybe some more insights into what StarFleet academy was like. Also I would like to have gotten a little more of the action in clear view, on a wider scale on screen. A good deal of the action is viewed from very close, moving, chaotic angles. Its used to great effect, but some more, big establishing shots would have helped simply by pleasing the eye. But that is something the original films and series. (Is there a multiple form for series? Serieses?Seriess?) tended to abuse, forcing us to just watch models float through space gracefully, even in battle sequences. Also, Rachel Nichols is far too hot to be covering in green paint, but one can't complain too much about getting her into her skivvies. The green stains on the sheets are something I could accept.

What did I like? First and foremost, the cast. You've gotta hand it to Mr. Abrams and company for their impeccable job casting this new crew. They didn't take it on aesthetically, rather, they just went and found themselves the best young actors on the scene, gave 'em some DVDs and said “Action!” a few weeks later. Pine and Quinto have you sold from beginning to end that they are their characters. In roles unfortunately small for the film are Simon Pegg and Karl Urban. Both of whom steal every scene they're in. Cho, Saldana, Greenwood, Bana and Yelchin all should not escape without commendations. The effects are top notch and the films written and directed at a breakneck pace. What felt like a racing 44 minute episode of the best funded TV show ever, turned out to be a 126 minute action packed blockbuster that is too damn fun for its own good.

Like Iron Man who preceded this film in an almost identical summer slot, this is the film that will kick the summer movie season's doors open in a big way. This is the movie that will be in the back of your mind until it comes out on DVD and you wear out the poor disc. I can honestly say I will have to actively try not to go see this movie again for at least a week, so it'll feel a little fresher when I inevitably schlep myself out to Providence for the IMAX experience.

iRate it: A-

X-Men Origins: Wolverine

So let me get one thing out in the open, I thought X-Men: The Last Stand was ok at first, then I started to hate it. I find myself in a situation, where I think I might totally hate Wolverine in 2 weeks after a repeat viewing with a friend that never saw it, or god knows how I'll feel when its out on video. But ultimately, I have the same underwhelmed feeling I had when the lights went up after X3. "Really? That's it?"

Especially after the post-credits teaser scene that's become pretty much standard issue with every god damn comic book movie out there. In my opinion, Iron Man has been the only one to really pull off the 'Of course this is plugging a sequel.' moment. Generally when I drive home after a movie, and I really enjoyed it, I drive really fast. I tear out of that parking lot and don't suffer a fool willing on the road. But after Wolverine? I meandered around 57-63mph. Not exactly "I'm pumped about that movie." speed.

Was there anything that was spectacularly awful and lame? Not really. Will.i.am from the black eyed peas stuck out like a sore thumb as studio casting. In addition, a lot of the special effects look half finished, a few scenes in particular. The whole thing just felt like something that might have been an awesome script at some point, until they hired somebody to water it down and EXPLAIN EVERYTHING. As soon as I saw 'adimantium bullets', my overdone exposition sense started tingling. And that sense, unlike my other seven or eight never lies. Also, they make contradictory references to Colonel Stryker as General in the first 10 minutes, then Colonel again later. Did he get demoted? I think I'm only mentioning it because that leads into one of my later points...

On the positive side, the movie does generally seem to assume you know about mutants and the other X-men flicks by not even mentioning the word mutants until more than forty minutes into the film by my rough estimation. I mentioned that I got an impression that this was an almost good film, that there were seeds of something that could have been very very cool, but somewhere it got screwed. Probably by FOX. At first the only credited writer was David Benioff, then when I went to see the movie, I was surprised to see the name Skip Woods of Hitman fame/infamy.

One of the producers is on record as saying some rather dismissive things about comic book fans. Something along the lines of "Fuck them, we already have their money." My most reasonable guess, is that Benioff's draft had a much more character driven narrative with actual dialog that wasn't exposition or obvious foreshadowing. That's what probably got the talents of people like Danny Huston, the director Gavin Hood, and the always enjoyable Liev Schreiber. Then Fox realized that they had hired an art-house director to make a 100 million dollar summer tent-pole film. So, they hired 'middling master' Skip Woods to tone down the film for the drooling summer masses. And when the director tried to squeeze some character moments and some drama out of the film, Studio goons would show up and squash any inkling of original thought that came contact with the set.

As a comic fan, and not quite fan-boy there were departures from the source material that were certainly there, but nothing that will upset the casual viewer. Though as a word to Emma Frost and Deadpool fans, they get seriously shortchanged. Ryan Reynolds gets a few funny quips in as Deadpool, helping to justify his presence in a movie that doesn't do any favors to a character we all know he loves, but its much much too brief, as is the entire Weapon X team storyline. The most notable departures involve some things that happen around the Merc with a Mouth and how he acquires his powers and the abilities he is given. While not a 'die hard' Deadpool fan, I love the character and was irked by the insistence they had on teasing so much Wade footage in trailers, then seeing pretty much all of it in the movie itself with little left over.

Ultimately, there's a few decent action sequences that are all right to look at, and go 'Ooh look, some thing's exploding.' And lots of roaring. Can't forget the feral roaring. We get it, he's an 'animal'. I wonder if the lozenge budget on set rivaled that of Dark Knight or Batman begins? I digress. They don't turn Wolverine into the lame ass sobbing douche he was in X3, but he isn't quite as sublimely bad ass as he was in the fantastic sequence from X2 where Wolverine sliced a mansion full of special ops troops that wandered into the wrong god damn school. In the end, I guess it begs the question: Am I on board for a sequel? Yes, but with an asterisk. Its the same reaction I had to Fantastic Four. Sure, I'll be in for a sequel, as long as somebody takes the rights away from Fox to stop shitting all over these great properties. But, that's probably too much to ask for.

iRate it: C

Welcome to iRATE reviews

Welcome to iRATE reviews.

Hi, I'm Willy. (Pictured Below)

I'm an absurdly average geek, dweeb, schmuck that dropped out of film school because he got tired of watching the same French New Wave films in every class. Now I use the "skills" I acquired in my short term as a film student, and my abilities as a life long comic-humping nerd to bring you the reader, the best damn movie* reviews this side of Quahog. I'm also the founder of Human Hyperbole, a sketch comedy project I started because of the same reasons that I endeavored to start this blog. Because I fucking can. So stay tuned and I'll bring you the most pretension free reviews I can muster.

Will I be working with a grading scale here? Yes. Rather than arbitrary means that don't really tell you to what degree the cinematic calamity sucked out loud, I'll use the same system of grading we were all subjected to and feared on a daily basis. Simple, straight forward letter grading. Lowest being the newly invented F- all the way up to the entirely conventional A+. How I come to my conclusions is entirely based upon my nerdy preconceptions, and the arbitrary madness that is the modern 20 something's mind. Will you disagree with my assessments? Probably, but I'm not approaching this with the idea of just slandering every piece of celluloid I come across.

What movies will I be reviewing? Primarily dork friendly flicks, for instance my premeire review: X-Men Origins: Wolverine. But I do leave my house for cinema that doesn't include adamantium claws or optic blasts. So I'll be reviewing semi-cult stuff like CRANK: HIGH VOLTAGE and to the insanely conventional stuff that we all end up seeing from time to time. For many of those films, I may give them the 'Two Sentence' treatment, which is exactly what it sounds like. Two sentence reviews when I feel no need to express myself beyond that.

All right, I'm tired of going on about this bullshit. Either read it or don't, get off my case. Yeesh.

*I reserve the right to introduce reviews for other mediums, TV, Games etc. Though it will remain a primarily movie review site.